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manitoba

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister Sends Out Emergency Alert Warning Manitobans that He is Still Premier

May 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, thousands of Manitobans were startled with an emergency alert on their phones warning them that Brian Pallister is still in charge of things around here. “Waut de schissjat is this […]

Unger & Thirst

Saskatchewan Butcher Claims His Farmer Sausage is Just as Good as Anything they Make in Manitoba

March 13, 2021 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Still reeling from the 2019 CFL season, Saskatchewan man Peter Klassen is making bold claims that his farmer sausage is just as good, if not better, than the stuff made in southern Manitoba. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Joel Wiens Stadium Replaces Reimer Stadium (Yes, this is real and, no, it’s not in Manitoba)

February 15, 2021 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Residents of southern Manitoba were mortified to discover that the Mennonites of Kansas had one-upped them in naming stuff after Nikkels, Wienses and Reimers. “Waut de schissjat is going on down there at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MLAs Concerned “Cabinet Shuffle” Might Be Some Kind of Dance

January 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There was great concern among the Mennonite members of caucus after Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister announced a “cabinet shuffle” this afternoon. “We’re Mennonites. I’m not so sure we should be doing this,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Moses Walks Back the Ten Commandments

November 12, 2020 Andrew

MT. SINAI After forty long days up on the mountain, Moses came down this week and announced a brand new set of unchangeable commandments. Or, so he thought. Moments after chiseling the commandments in stone, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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