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manitoba

The Daily Bonnet

Unger Becomes First Mennonite Ever to Return Home to Manitoba After Trip to Abbotsford

April 4, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Writer Andrew Unger became the first Mennonite ever to return to his home province of Manitoba after a visit to Abbotsford, BC. Unger was in Abbotsford to read from his new book The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Family Instantly Regrets Agreeing to Spring Break in Manitoba This Year

April 1, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Kehlers of Abbotsford were on a plane back to the BC the moment they touched down in Winnipeg for so-called Spring Break. “Jauma, they’ve still got snow on the ground! And where […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment

February 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba was shocked to discover it was no longer a part of Canada after angry folks on social media suggested Trudeau had removed the “first amendment.” “OMG! Trudeau just tossed the Manitoba Act […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before

November 27, 2021 Andrew

MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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