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manitoba

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Family Instantly Regrets Agreeing to Spring Break in Manitoba This Year

April 1, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Kehlers of Abbotsford were on a plane back to the BC the moment they touched down in Winnipeg for so-called Spring Break. “Jauma, they’ve still got snow on the ground! And where […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment

February 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba was shocked to discover it was no longer a part of Canada after angry folks on social media suggested Trudeau had removed the “first amendment.” “OMG! Trudeau just tossed the Manitoba Act […]

Unger Suspicion

Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before

November 27, 2021 Andrew

MORRIS, MB When southbound traffic on Manitoba’s most prestigious highway Number 75 was re-opened today after being closed briefly due to winter weather, drivers were shocked to discover road conditions were still just as shitty […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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