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low german

The Daily Bonnet

Credit Unions Forced to Conduct All Business in Low German

July 28, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Starting this August, the federal government will be enforcing decades old legislation that requires all credit union workers to refrain from speaking English, a language reserved exclusively for banks. “Only actual bankers will be […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Mennonite Profanity

January 8, 2017 Andrew

Perhaps the most useful words and phrases to know in any language are those that express anger, excitement, or grief. For your convenience, here is a helpful list of Plautdietsch curse words and insults, along […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant

December 2, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Peter Berg still insists after all these years that he doesn’t have a Plautdietsch accent at all. “Ats all deeze Enjelsch who have da acksant yat,” he said in perfectly fluent […]

Unger Conviction

‘Miraculous Tongues’ Turn Out to Be Low German

November 30, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An enthusiastic new convert from Winnipeg was amazed by the “miraculous tongues” he heard at a church service in Steinbach this past weekend. “I had never heard or seen anything like it,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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