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low german

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant

December 2, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Peter Berg still insists after all these years that he doesn’t have a Plautdietsch accent at all. “Ats all deeze Enjelsch who have da acksant yat,” he said in perfectly fluent […]

Unger Conviction

‘Miraculous Tongues’ Turn Out to Be Low German

November 30, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An enthusiastic new convert from Winnipeg was amazed by the “miraculous tongues” he heard at a church service in Steinbach this past weekend. “I had never heard or seen anything like it,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler, Manitoba to Officially be Renamed ‘Vankler’

November 19, 2016 Andrew

VANKLER, MB Winkler, Manitoba, the crown jewel in Manitoba’s Mennonite crown, has many things going right for it. But one thing that’s going wrong is the egregious mispronunciation of the city’s name by innocent outsiders […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Classified as an ‘Endangered Species’ in Steinbach

November 9, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As Steinbach has grown, it has become more diverse, and some might even say, “metropolitan.” Long gone are the days when elderly Mennonite men would greet young women at the Clearspring Mall with, “Hia es […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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