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The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Ranked as ‘World’s Saxiest Accent’

April 23, 2021 Andrew

SCHÖNWIESE, MEXICO Move over French, there’s a new accent in town: Plautdietsch! According to a new survey conducted by Guillermo Toews of Schönwiese, Mexico, Mennonite Low German (aka Plautdietsch) is the “saxiest accent in the […]

Unger & Thirst

A Glossary of Mennonite Food

April 9, 2021 Andrew

Ever wondered waut de hunt is komst borscht or plumi moos? Well, you can wonder no more, because the Daily Bonnet has created this handy dictionary of popular Russian Mennonite dishes. Now you can go […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Low German Words Used on the Daily Bonnet

April 23, 2020 Andrew

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of […]

Unger Conviction

Attempt at Singing ‘Silent Night’ in German Fizzles Out After First Line

December 20, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The annual Christmas sing-along at the Falk gathering this evening became quite awkward after someone suggested they do ‘Silent Night’ in the original German. “Oh, sure, they were gung ho at first, […]

Unger Suspicion

Cal-gary Man Insists He’s from ‘Calgree’

November 13, 2019 Andrew

CAL-GARY, AB Local man and faithful Mennonite church attendee Jeremy Goerzen, 41, has lived in the Whitehorn neighbourhood of Northeast Cal-gary his entire life, yet for some strange reason he still insists on calling the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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