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knackzoat

Unger & Thirst

Hipsters Flock to Rural Manitoba to Take Selfies with Knackzoat

August 8, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After being warned to stay away from the sunflower plants, thousands of Winnipeg hipsters have descended upon corner stores and gas stations across southern Manitoba to have their pictures taken next to bags […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Entire Summer Sitting in Lawn Chair on Front Lawn Wearing Nothing but Gitch

July 14, 2018 Andrew

SCHANZENBERGENFELD, MB Peter Dueck, 72, of Schanzenbergenfeld has spent all summer, wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs, and sitting in his front lawn staring at his neighbours. In that time, Dueck has consumed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Charged with Distracted Driving for Knacking Zoat Behind the Wheel

April 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local man Colin Peters, 41, is facing distracted driving charges after being spotted by Altona police with a bag of Ronnie’s Original Jumbo Sunflower Seeds in one hand and the steering wheel in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tings Oncle Johan is Tankful For This Year

October 9, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONCLE JOHAN KLASSEN Today is the Tanksgiving and the Pradja axed us to tink of all the tings what we’re tankful for. At first, I tought, oba, nay, it’s yust too difficult, but dan […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things for Mennonites to Do at the Lake this Weekend

August 6, 2017 Andrew

I was in church this morning. It was just me and Pastor Dave. It wasn’t bad, but the sermon felt a little personal, you know? Well, anyway, since you’re all out camping, I’ve decided to […]

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