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kitchen

Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Conviction

Chaos Erupts in Church Kitchen After Label Maker Goes On the Fritz

January 16, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It was absolute mayhem in the Third Mennonite Church basement in Winkler this week after the trusty old Dymo label maker finally kicked the bucket. “Slowly but surely the labels had been falling […]

Unger Conviction

Chaos in Church Kitchen as Pickle Dishes Discovered in Cream and Sugar Cupboard

February 5, 2024 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Chaos erupted in the South Grunthal Mennonite church kitchen this week after the labels fell off the cupboards, leaving pickle dishes in with cream and sugar and teaspoons in the chipped saucer drawer. […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Shocked as Husband Finally Enters the Kitchen

January 29, 2024 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS A hush fell through the crowd at the Hillsboro pickleball courts this week as Dave Penner, 61, entered the kitchen for the very first time in his life. “I was in tears,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher

September 12, 2023 Andrew

AMANA, IA The Inspirationalist colonies of Amana, Iowa have released a brand new dishwasher that will give people that warm fuzzy feeling of childhood. “We really think people are going to just love our new […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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