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Unger Suspicion

World’s “Most Powerful Nation” Loses Yet Another War

August 17, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After the Taliban retook Afghanistan in a record-setting fifteen minutes, the glorious nation of the United States of America has once again lost another war they shouldn’t have been waging in the first […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fully Vaccinated Mennonites Can Remove their Bonnets in Public

May 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference at the White House today President Joe Biden announced that starting next week fully-vaccinated Mennonites will be allowed to remove their bonnets in all public places. “And the men […]

Unger Suspicion

Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries

February 26, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It didn’t take long for President Joe Biden to bring back a longstanding American tradition by ordering his very first airstrike. “It’s an American tradition that I have to maintain,” said Joe Biden. […]

Unger Conviction

Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service

October 22, 2020 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Attendees at the upcoming South Nashville Mennonite Church service this Sunday will be given the ability to mute the pastor whenever they think he’s off base or speaking out of turn. “After last […]

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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