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Unger Conviction

Christian Church Continues Longstanding Christian Tradition of Doing the Opposite of Everything Christ Ever Taught

March 26, 2024 Andrew

DALLAS, TX The ministerial team at Waters of Blessing church in Dallas, Texas have decided it was time to clarify their message to the world. In a stirring sermon this Sunday, the church outlined their […]

Unger Conviction

Two Groups That Absolutely Hate Each Other and Disagree on Nearly Everything Both Say They’re “Christians”

September 16, 2022 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX A number of supposedly Christian groups have gathered in Seminole this week to discuss what they have in common, which, as it turns out, is absolutely nothing. “It’s almost as if we’re all […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone

November 11, 2017 Andrew

I’ve learned that there are certain issues that generate considerable controversy in Mennonite circles: corn syrup vs. Roger’s golden syrup, Swiss vs. Dutch, Winkler vs. Steinbach, hymns vs. crappy repetitive contemporary worship songs. However, the […]

Unger Conviction

Colicky Baby Jesus Completely Ruins Living Nativity

December 18, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The annual living nativity was brought to a standstill last night after the young infant playing baby Jesus just didn’t stop crying. The incessant crying was so disruptive that the braying donkeys could scarcely […]

Unger Suspicion

New Survey Suggests 8 out of 10 People Cannot Identify the Man in the Rio Statue

August 14, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL A recent New York Times survey on cultural literacy suggests that the vast majority of people have ‘no freakin’ clue’ who sits atop Corcovado Mountain in Rio de Janeiro. The survey showed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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