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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attempts to Outdo Florida Man

March 22, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Distraught at all the publicity this ‘Florida Man’ has been getting as of late, Colin Wiens, 22, of Goessel, Kansas decided he was going to get his name on the front page of […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her

February 1, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Mrs. Rempel keeps pretty close track of her Facebook numbers, so when she saw her friends list drop from 189 to 188 earlier this week, she knew something was amiss. “Jauma lied! This […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Forgets His Apple ID Password Yet Again

December 18, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Area man Ernie Rempel, 47, had to reset his Apple ID password yet again this morning, after he went to purchase the Hientje Christmas album on iTunes and discovered he no longer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man’s Hilarious Wikipedia Edit About Mennonites Goes Unnoticed for Six Years

August 31, 2018 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Back in the winter of 2012, then Conrad Grebel student, Jakob Klassen, 23, of Aylmer edited the Wikipedia page about Mennonites to include numerous hilarious but erroneous bits of information. Klassen was shocked […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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