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Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her

February 1, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Mrs. Rempel keeps pretty close track of her Facebook numbers, so when she saw her friends list drop from 189 to 188 earlier this week, she knew something was amiss. “Jauma lied! This […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Forgets His Apple ID Password Yet Again

December 18, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Area man Ernie Rempel, 47, had to reset his Apple ID password yet again this morning, after he went to purchase the Hientje Christmas album on iTunes and discovered he no longer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man’s Hilarious Wikipedia Edit About Mennonites Goes Unnoticed for Six Years

August 31, 2018 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Back in the winter of 2012, then Conrad Grebel student, Jakob Klassen, 23, of Aylmer edited the Wikipedia page about Mennonites to include numerous hilarious but erroneous bits of information. Klassen was shocked […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Catfishes Dozens of Men With Notes in Church Mailboxes

June 23, 2018 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Catfishing, an online scam using false identities to win people’s trust for financial gain, has become a huge problem in recent years, with people across the globe falling prey. So far Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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