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Unger & Thirst

Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key

December 14, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHASSELHOF, MB The local Unsafeway Store has had to put their entire supply of romaine lettuce under lock and key this week after a rash of thefts nearly brought the store to its knees. “Let’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate

November 27, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abe Toews of Winkler was at the extended Toews gathering this weekend when he got to the end of the potluck line and decided he had just enough room on his plate for […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Gas Station to Offer Free Eye-Gouging or Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

September 26, 2022 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Gas stations across Vancouver are going the extra mile this week by providing each paying customer with a complimentary eye-gouging or kick in the groin. “We’re trying to stand out from the crowd […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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