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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Opts for Incontinental Breakfast

October 16, 2023 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND In what has been described as the most inadvisable breakfast order of the decade, Pete Wiens of Morden became the first customer at the Come On Down Inn in Grand Forks to […]

Unger & Thirst

Delta Passengers Offered Free Taco Bell Coupon

September 10, 2023 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA Passengers on the ill-fated Delta Airlines flight this week were offered a $5 coupon to Taco Bell as compensation for their unfortunate trip. “This is just one way we’re giving back to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Plucky Flight Attendant Powers Through Meal Service on Delta Diarrhea Flight

September 7, 2023 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA Mrs. Kroeker of Montezuma, Georgia wouldn’t let a little diarrhea running down the aisles stop her from serving lunch on a recent ill-fated Delta flight. “Jauma, I made all this food and no […]

Unger & Thirst

Local KFC Sees 50% Reduction in Diarrhea After Getting Rid of Taco Bell

July 13, 2023 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Students at Anabaptist Mennonite Theological Seminary in Elkhart have reported a significant reduction in diarrhea cases this semester after the local KFC kicked out the adjoining Taco Bell. “Quite frankly, it’s a relief,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Hungover Mennonite Woman Insists “It’s Only Covid”

June 22, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Eleanor Driedger, 61, of Saskatoon had a little too much to drink at the lady’s Bible study and wine event last night, but refused to admit she’d come down with a hangover this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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