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Unger Suspicion

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2018

December 29, 2018 Andrew

2018 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2018. 10. Crazy […]

Unger & Thirst

Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl

December 28, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Emergency crews were overworked this holiday season extracting red raspberry candies that had become clumped together in Oma Penner’s candy bowl. “Try as they might, the kids just couldn’t get a candy out […]

Unger & Thirst

No Tüte for Naughty Uncle Corny This Year

December 26, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENFELD, SK Grandma Peters has left Uncle Corny off the tüte list this year after it was discovered he had slept in and missed church three times over the past year. According to sources close to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Children Excited to Be Able to Say “Ox and Ass” Without Punishment Today

December 25, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mennonite children around the globe are excited for that one day a year when they receive presents, eat chocolate, and can say the word “ass” with impunity, at least within the context of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Bravely Opts to Forgo Candle Drip-Guard

December 24, 2018 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Brave Mrs. Allison Koop, 41, decided to toss away the paper candle-wax guard during tonight’s Christmas Eve service. Koop is widely regarded as the toughest woman in Mountain Lake for her ability […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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