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hockey

Unger Suspicion

Bettman Throws Massive Street Party to Celebrate Last Canadian Team Being Eliminated from Playoffs

May 20, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was champagne flowing at NHL headquarters in New York City today, as long time NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman spared no expense in celebrating the fact that, once again, only American teams […]

Unger Suspicion

Carrie Underwood Spotted Busking for Spare Change Outside Winnipeg Jets Arena

May 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Barefoot Nashville Predators  Vegas Knights fan Carrie Underwood was spotted busking for spare change outside the Winnipeg Jets street party on Saturday. After a devastating loss by her husband’s team, the grumpy country […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning

May 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]

Unger & Thirst

8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties

May 5, 2018 Andrew

Oba, so you thought you’d have a nice evening alone with your hubby, but Henry has invited all the church men over to watch the Jats game yet. They’re doing a lot of yelling and […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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