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health

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Eager to Tell Everyone About Her Medical History

September 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Taunte Lina, 86, of Chilliwack was devastated to find a sign on the door of a local business saying that they were defying government health orders requiring proof of vaccination and would not […]

Unger Suspicion

Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump

August 28, 2021 Andrew

FARGO, ND A new study shows that the overwhelming majority of anti-vax research occurs whilst the researcher is doing a number two. “We geolocated all the top anti-vax researchers and found almost all of them […]

The Daily Bonnet

Boats Full of “Persecuted Mennonite Refugees” Fleeing Trivial Nuisances in Canada

July 25, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Boat loads of Mennonite refugees are once again fleeing their homes for what they believe will be a much better life in the desert someplace where they don’t have to wear masks between […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Sprays WD-40 on His Achey Elbow

July 15, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Peter Stobbe of La Crete had tried just about everything the trajchtmoaka prescribed, but nothing, just nothing, would solve that chronic ache in his elbow until he tried a spritz of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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