Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Man Keeps Fork, Dessert Doesn’t Come
GOESSEL, KS Local man Peter Wiebe was left sitting there with a fork in his hand for a full hour before he realized dessert simply wasn’t on its way. “I even licked it off so […]
health
Unger Suspicion
Manitoba Hockey Fan Emerges from House for the First Time in Many Months
NIVERVILLE, MB Local hockey fan Peter Klassen, 48, left his house for very first time in months, after the Winnipeg Jets lost to the Vegas Golden Nights on Sunday afternoon. “Ach, the light, the bright […]
Unger Suspicion
Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning
WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]
Unger Suspicion
Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks
WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]
Unger Conviction
Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One
GOSHEN, IN Fresh out of seminary, Pastor Dave was really excited about his new Associate Pastor position at East Mennonite until he discovered first hand just how frugal the church board can be. Dave was […]