WINKLER, MB Local man Dick Brandt underwent emergency dental surgery this week after cracking four molars and an incisor on Oma Brandt’s notorious rock hard päpanät. “Diewel, Oma’s päpanät are hard yet,” exclaimed Mr. Brandt, […]
HENDERSON, NB Mr. Allan Janzen of Henderson is being treated for first degree burns this week after lighting his Nikes on fire while still wearing them. According to family members, Janzen was burning his shoes […]
LAKE WINNIPEG, MB A 43-year-old man from over by Reinland somewheres was found beached on the shores of Lake Winnipeg this weekend. Thankfully locals were able to keep him hydrated with Rogers Golden Syrup while […]
The body mass index is used to measure a person’s relative health based on their weight and height. Unfortunately, the traditional BMI does not work for Mennonites. Instead, Mennonite doctors recommend that you use the […]
STEINBACH, MB Local woman Erin Friesen, 34, gave her thumbs quite the workout at the gym today. Friesen estimates she sent more than a hundred texts today and burned between 3 and 4 calories. “Dang […]
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