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Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Debuts New Mennonite Look

July 10, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre felt his current look was “just not conservative enough” and debuted a lovely new Mennonite beard this week. “Kind of a miracle really. Took me just three days to […]

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Sobbing Outside ‘Winners’ Store

June 21, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Maxime Bernie was spotted curled up in a ball and sobbing outside a Winners store in Winnipeg, Manitoba this week. “He told me to pull over as soon as he saw the sign.” […]

Unger the Influence

In Resurfaced Music Video, Danielle Smith Calls 75% of Albertans “Crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise”

May 10, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In a recently resurfaced music video from the mid-90s, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith was caught on camera saying that “75% of Albertans are all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish paradise.” “Hitchin’ up […]

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Parachuting Above Winkler, Manitoba

May 8, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Maxime Bernier. Winkler residents had their eyes fixed on the skies this week, after hearing rumours that PPC leader Maxime Bernier would be parachuting into their […]

Unger Suspicion

Amish Man Can’t Figure Out Why He Got This ‘Carbon Tax Relief’ Cheque

April 3, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB Mr. Schwartzenbeilersnider of over near Vita was completely baffled this week when he stopped at the post office in town and found something called a ‘Carbon Tax Relief Fund’ cheque from the Manitoba […]

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