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Unger the Influence

Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor

July 17, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre Debuts New Mennonite Look

July 10, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre felt his current look was “just not conservative enough” and debuted a lovely new Mennonite beard this week. “Kind of a miracle really. Took me just three days to […]

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Sobbing Outside ‘Winners’ Store

June 21, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Maxime Bernie was spotted curled up in a ball and sobbing outside a Winners store in Winnipeg, Manitoba this week. “He told me to pull over as soon as he saw the sign.” […]

Unger the Influence

In Resurfaced Music Video, Danielle Smith Calls 75% of Albertans “Crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise”

May 10, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In a recently resurfaced music video from the mid-90s, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith was caught on camera saying that “75% of Albertans are all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish paradise.” “Hitchin’ up […]

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Parachuting Above Winkler, Manitoba

May 8, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Maxime Bernier. Winkler residents had their eyes fixed on the skies this week, after hearing rumours that PPC leader Maxime Bernier would be parachuting into their […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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