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Unger Suspicion

Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them

April 18, 2017 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC for short, is demanding that in the event of Quebec’s separation from Canada, that tiny […]

Uncategorized

Dozens of MPs Come Forward During House of Commons Altar Call

April 18, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, back bench opposition MP Pete Friesen of Saskatchewan stood up during Question Period this past week and invited everyone to come forward and confess their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Henry Reimer to Move to the Corner of Henry and Reimer

April 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thanks to a new Steinbach law, residents will now be allowed to inhabit the street corners that match their names. First to take advantage of this new law was Henry Reimer, 71, formerly […]

Uncategorized

Albertans Gladly ‘Render Unto Notley What is Notley’s’

April 11, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Three months after Alberta Premier Rachel Notley introduced a new carbon tax in the oil rich province, millions of Albertans have responded with unprecedented positivity that pundits have described as “remarkably Christlike.” “We’re seeing a […]

The Daily Bonnet

’25 Minutes to Steinbach’ Sign Fails to Withstand Scientific Testing

April 3, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For decades a sign just outside of Winnipeg on Highway 1 informed drivers that they were just “25 minutes” from Steinbach, the Automobile City. However, rigorous scientific research has proven that the 25 minute estimate […]

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