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government

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale

June 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan

May 30, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Brother of late great Toronto mayor Rob Ford, Ontario PC candidate Doug Ford has gained a lot of attention for his unconventional policy proposals during this provincial election campaign. Recently, Ford proposed to […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Daily Bonnet is Running for Mayor of Steinbach: Here’s My Platform!

May 16, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With long-serving mayor Chris Goertzen announcing he is not running for re-election in 2018, the Steinbach mayoral race is up for grabs. So far, current city councillors John Fehr and Earl Funk have […]

Unger Suspicion

World’s Largest Snake Den Discovered in Manitoba Legislature

May 8, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba Conservation officers were called to the Legislative Buildings in Winnipeg this week after a den of more than 10,000 garter snakes were discovered to have taken over the entire upper floor. The […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Celebrate 420 by Drinking Yerba on Parliament Hill

April 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonite ‘Yerbaheads,’ as they call themselves, set up their lawn chairs on the steps of the Canadian Parliament buildings today to celebrate 420. Mr. Johan Dueck came all the way from […]

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