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The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Mennonites Upset as their Team, the Germans, are Eliminated from the World Cup

December 4, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Thousands of Mennonite soccer fans across Canada were really upset this week after the team they were really rooting for, the Germans, were eliminated from the World Cup yet again. “Ugh, typical Germany, […]

Unger Games

New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On

November 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY After visiting Pennsylvania last year, German inventor Andreas Fischer discovered a favourite new card game and decided to make a version of his own. Unfortunately for Fischer the game has not really caught […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

Unger Suspicion

Kitchener, Ontario to be Renamed Berlin

December 4, 2019 Andrew

BERLIN, ON Eager to reclaim its past glory, the city of Kitchener, Ontario has decided to go back to calling itself Berlin. “The only reason we changed that name in the first place was to […]

Unger Suspicion

American Tourist ‘Totally Wasted’ For the Rest of the Trip After Just One German Beer

July 19, 2019 Andrew

MUNICH, GERMANY Light beer enthusiast Mr. Johan Yoder of Lancaster decided to take a trip to Germany with his friends this summer. Yoder soon discovered, however, that his beer drinking skills were not up to […]

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