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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Pickers’ Find Treasure Trove at Local Dump

February 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The local dump, or nuisance grounds as it’s commonly called by Mennonites, has provided quite the bounty of stupid crap for local pickers Arnold Loewen and Edna Dueck. “They don’t really like us […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites

February 20, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom

December 11, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB This year’s hottest Christmas toy, the ‘Hatchimal’, features a big plastic egg that, with care and attention, hatches open and reveals a plush animal. The toy has become so popular that many stores are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden Man Successfully Stretches Penny Into Copper Wire

November 29, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Local man, Reginald F. Braun, 63, has been dubbed the ‘Mennonite King Midas’ after becoming the first person to stretch a penny into copper wire. “That old Mr. Braun is just amazing,” said one […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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