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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom

December 11, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB This year’s hottest Christmas toy, the ‘Hatchimal’, features a big plastic egg that, with care and attention, hatches open and reveals a plush animal. The toy has become so popular that many stores are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden Man Successfully Stretches Penny Into Copper Wire

November 29, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Local man, Reginald F. Braun, 63, has been dubbed the ‘Mennonite King Midas’ after becoming the first person to stretch a penny into copper wire. “That old Mr. Braun is just amazing,” said one […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Store Offers Amazing 10% Off Black Friday Sale

November 25, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON In order to keep Southern Ontario Mennonites from zipping over the border for Black Friday deals, local Mennonite businesses have drastically reduced prices in order to compete. Rempel Electronics, for example, is offering unprecedented […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Collect Hundreds of Empty Shoe Boxes to Send Overseas

October 23, 2016 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Generous Mennonites throughout the Reinfeld area will once again be collecting empty shoeboxes this year to send to needy children in time for the holidays. “Many people stuff the shoeboxes with clothes, books, and other […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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