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formavorscht

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Becomes ‘Completely Hooked’ on the Pink Stuff

August 12, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Bergman of Blumenhof has been undergoing intensive counseling with the pastor this week after it was discovered he had an unhealthy obsession with the pink stuff on formavorscht ever since he discovered […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Farmer Sausage Recipe Calls for 30 to 50 Feral Hogs

August 7, 2019 Andrew

A recently uncovered recipe for traditional Mennonite farmer sausage calls for “30 to 50 feral hogs.” The document, translated from Plautdietsch, and found jammed into a hymn book at the local Bergthaler church, is believed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Eager to Try New ‘Beyond Formavorscht’ Burger

June 21, 2019 Andrew

SCHTEINBACK, MB Eager to capitalize on the popular fake meat trend, local farmer sausage makers have come up with an enticing new product called ‘Beyond Formavorscht’, which, apparently tastes just like the real thing yet! […]

Unger & Thirst

Google Honours Mennonites with Farmer Sausage Logo

April 24, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA Every once in a while, Google changes its logo in recognition of groups or individuals who have contributed something noteworthy to society. Well, this week, the folks at Google decided to “honour […]

Unger & Thirst

Raw Farmer Sausage and Vinegar: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

March 3, 2018 Andrew

Whether planning a fancy wedding reception this summer or just a cocktail party at the lake house, you’re going to want to have hors d’oeuvres that leave an impression. Although it takes considerable time and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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