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formavorscht

Unger & Thirst

New Canada Food Guide Makes Farmer Sausage its Own Food Group

February 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In an effort to reshape the unhealthy eating patterns of Canadians, the new Canada Food Guide has made formavorscht it’s own food group and now recommends 6-10 servings per day. “A lot of […]

Unger Suspicion

Hidden Farmer Sausage Discovered in Obama’s Portrait

February 15, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC “It’s clearly a secret message for the Russian Mennonite community,” said Elder Janzen of Omaha. “He had formavorscht on the brain.” Janzen is referring to the recent portrait of former President Barack Obama, […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Longest Farmer Sausage Stretches from Blumenort to Steinbach

September 10, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Measuring 9.8 kilometres and weighing in at more than 17 tonnes, the neighbouring towns of Blumenort and Steinbach have just entered the Guinness Book of Records with the world’s longest farmer sausage. The […]

Unger & Thirst

Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage

July 2, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB At about 2:00 pm this Sunday, the eating time at the Vogt family picnic at AD Penner Park was thought to be over. The kids had moved on to play on the zip-line, […]

Unger & Thirst

Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners a Big Hit in Mennonite Country

June 7, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at Altona gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

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