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Unger & Thirst

Daring Mennonite Couple to Try Costco Farmer Sausage

September 25, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB This evening at faspa, the Wiebes of Vankla will be the first ever southern Manitobans to eat the farmer sausage that, apparently, you can get at Costco. “Costco formarvorscht? I didn’t even know […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Subsists Entirely on Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup

September 5, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC For more than 17 years, local man Earl Penner has eaten nothing but Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup at Ricky’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “Ever since my Martha passed away, I’ve been coming here […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage

July 12, 2022 Andrew

YARROW, BC Timmy Wiebe of Reinland, Manitoba ventured out to Abbotsford this week and quickly became the first Manitoban ever to dare to try BC farmer sausage. “BC farmer sausage? It doesn’t give such,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Skeptical Mennonite Man Refuses to Eat Sausage Because He “Doesn’t Know What’s In It”

February 2, 2022 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Like most Mennonite men, local man Jack Fehr treats his body like a temple and refuses to put anything into it until he’s researched the full list of ingredients. This healthy skepticism has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Shames Restaurant by Weighing Farmer Sausage to Prove it’s Underweight

August 1, 2021 Andrew

GRUENHIMMEL, SK Mr. Harder was aghast at the minuscule portion size of farmer sausage he received at a local Mennonite restaurant in Blummenhimmel this week and immediately asked to speak to the manager. “I’ve been […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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