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The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

Unger Games

Bombers Fan Can’t Figure Out Why the Heck He Goes to these Labour Day Games Anyway

September 1, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK Die hard Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan, Colin Kehler of Landmark can’t figure out why on earth he drives all the way out to Regina every year just to watch his team lose yet […]

Unger Suspicion

Families Ripped Apart After Riders Fan Marries Bombers Fan

August 31, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local Penner and Wiebe gatherings will never be the same after Rider fan Julie Penner, 19, married Bomber fan Timothy Wiebe, 20, in a secret ceremony somewhere in rural Saskatchewan this afternoon. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Football Player Suspended Two Games after Testing Positive for Papsi and Ravel

August 26, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a wee bit too much Papsi and Ravel was found in his system, Andreas Heinrichs has been suspended from playing the next two games of the EMBC church touch football league. “Oba, […]

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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