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football

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …

July 21, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In what one Edmonton man describes as a “completely unprecedented move for a professional sports team”, the Edmonton football club has decided to change its nickname. “In all my years I’ve never seen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loses Thousands Betting on Replays of Last Year’s Football Games

June 20, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Unger was so excited to finally be able to watch some Canadian football games this week that he bet his friend Mr. Toews more than ten thousand dollars that the Ticats […]

Unger Games

XFL to Play in Front of Empty Stadiums Just Like Normal

March 12, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA It’s business as usual for the only sports league left playing these days, the XFL. As per usual, the league will play in near empty 60,000 seat stadiums for the remainder of the […]

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

Unger Games

United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 1, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI GARDENS, FL Attendees at Super Bowl LIV on Sunday are in for a real treat as the entire US Senate will be performing at what is being hyped as the greatest halftime show ever. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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