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football

Unger Games

Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities

January 7, 2020 Andrew

BOSTON, MA After proving himself for close to twenty years on the smaller American field, it looks like former Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally be getting his shot at the CFL. “We’ve had scouts […]

Unger Games

Strangely Content Bombers Fans Don’t Ask for Any Presents This Year

December 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Long-suffering fans of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers have decided not to ask for a single thing for Christmas this year, since they already got their presents back in November. “I asked my Earl […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba to Call in Sick Tomorrow

November 24, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Blue Bombers ended a 29 year drought and won the 2019 Grey Cup on Sunday, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba plans to show up to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Vows Never to Wear Suspenders Until the Bombers Win a Grey Cup

November 23, 2019 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB Oncle Johan Fast has vowed “naver aver” to wear suspenders again until the Winnipeg Blue Bombers bring home the Grey Cup. Many are supportive of his plan, but others are a little troubled […]

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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