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fire

Unger Suspicion

Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

June 16, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Smokes His Sausage By Just Leaving it Outside for a While

June 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The air quality was so bad in Winnipeg this afternoon, that Mr. Dave Peters managed to smoke a whole ring of formavorscht just by leaving it sitting out in his backyard for a […]

Unger & Thirst

Lord Blesses Mennonites with Massive Farmer Sausage Smoke Shack

June 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of devout Mennonites across Canada have been answered this week as thousands of acres of forest are now on fire, providing ample opportunity to smoke a sausage or two. “I was […]

Unger & Thirst

Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply

May 11, 2023 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Funerals in the area were cancelled today after a bridge fire cut off access to the cheese curd factory in New Bothwell. “Jauma, no cheese curds? Looks like we’ll have to postpone […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Attends Fifteen Bonfires in a Single Weekend

September 28, 2021 Andrew

VITA, MB The Loewens of Vita attended a record-setting fifteen bonfires over the weekend, beginning with an after-work birthday party on Friday and ending with a Sunday evening singalong at the Buckert’s place. “In between […]

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