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faspa

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles

March 30, 2018 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Timothy Warkentin left audiences at South Abbotsford EMB stunned this week after his performance of that song you play by rolling your knuckles over a few black keys. It was the […]

Unger & Thirst

A Modest Proposal for the Elimination of Faspa

March 11, 2018 Andrew

BY: JOHAN SIEMENS It is a melancholy object to walk the streets of Steinbach on a Sunday afternoon, to find church after church crowded with Mennonites of various denominations sitting at round tables and consuming […]

Unger & Thirst

Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese

May 28, 2017 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB For the first time since the Great Depression, the weekly faspa at New Bothwell MEMB church had to be cancelled this Sunday after Mrs. Loewen forgot to pick up the required three […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Earns Place in Heaven after Attending Evening Service

February 25, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local man Henry Harder has guaranteed himself a spot in Heaven after successfully attending those really boring Sunday evening church services for twenty years straight. “I’ve made it! I’ve finally made it!” shouted […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa

February 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thanks to pressure from many of their loyal Mennonite customers, the world’s largest fast food chain is experimenting with all-day faspa in a half dozen Western Canada stores. “We’ve been listening to customers […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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