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The Daily Bonnet

Penner Discovered in Reimer Book

September 8, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Shock waves are spreading throughout the Mennonite community of Steinbach this week as a Penner was discovered in the Reimer book. It’s not known how the Penner got into the Reimer family tree, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes

July 21, 2018 Andrew

DRUMHELLER, AB Scientists at the Friesen Academy of Science, Platz, and Aniseed (FASPA) have uncovered conclusive evidence that proves the evolution of Mennonites from our ancestors the Abes. “Sometime millions of years ago in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Now that Grandma’s Passed, the Hieberts Can Finally Stop Having So Many Family Gatherings

June 26, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Although nothing has been officially decided, it’s quite clear from the sense of relief that has swept over the Hiebert clan, that we won’t be having another Hiebert gathering anytime soon. Now that […]

Unger Conviction

Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying

June 10, 2018 Andrew

Catholics make the sign of the cross, Baptists kneel by their bedsides, and Pentecostals speak in tongues. But when it comes to prayer, Mennonites distinguish themselves by grasping firmly to the sweaty hand of the […]

Unger Suspicion

ABC Launches New Sitcom ‘Morden Family’

May 22, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Television executives at ABC just announced a new cutting edge sitcom entitled ‘Morden Family,’ which explores the lives of several Mennonite families in Morden, Manitoba learning their place in an ever changing world. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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