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environment

Unger Suspicion

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plastic Straw Ban Leaves Pacifist Mennonites Completely Defenceless

June 21, 2018 Andrew

BERNE, IN In recent weeks, cities across the country have banned plastic straws because of their environmental impact. While many are supportive of the idea, there has been some resistance, particularly from the nation’s 500,000 […]

Unger Suspicion

B.C. Premier Shuts Down Progress on Kinder Surprise Pipeline

April 11, 2018 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Concerned that increased access to thin chocolate eggs and cheap plastic toys may adversely affect the health and welfare of British Columbians, Premier John Horgan announced Tuesday that he would do everything in […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Offers Customers Financial Compensation for the Embarrassment of Driving a Volkswagen

January 3, 2018 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY After executive Oliver Schmidt was sentenced to seven years in prison for the Volkswagen emissions scandal, the German automaker is now offering embarrassed customers financial compensation for the “utter humiliation of having to […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Introduces Strict ‘No Kill’ Policy for Mosquitos

May 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, the Manitoba government announced a new initiative that seeks to address the growing mosquito population by employing hundreds of conservation officers in a new humane ‘catch and release’ program. “Here in Manitoba, we’re […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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