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Unger Suspicion

Vinegar Feeling ‘Severely Neglected’ as Jason Kenney Spends All His Time on Oil

June 1, 2019 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Representatives from the vinegar industry are feeling pretty darn neglected as Alberta Premier Jason Kenney seems to be spending all his time defending oil. “He’s just oil this and oil that. I get […]

Unger Suspicion

Philippines to Canada: “We Don’t Want Your Trash!”

May 29, 2019 Andrew

MANILA, PHILIPPINES In recent days, Malaysia has joined the Philippines in denouncing Canada and demanding that Justin Bieber be returned to North America. “We’re sick and tired of Canada sending us all their unwanted trash,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Ways that Mennonites are ‘Greener’ than You Are

May 17, 2019 Andrew

The Mennonites are known for many things: quaint lifestyles, hearty cooking, and funny accents. However, did you know that Mennonites are also among the most environmentally-conscious people out there? Certainly far “greener” than most Englishers […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Sends Everyone in Canada Some Stupid Cat Meme

March 30, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Eager to capitalize on this hip new technology he just discovered called “texting,” Conservative leader Andrew Scheer sent, like, totally everyone in the country a really stupid cat meme he happened to find […]

Unger & Thirst

Italian Canadians Object to Trudeau’s New Carbonara Tax

October 29, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON There is growing opposition in Canada’s Italian population to the Trudeau government’s proposed ‘Carbonara Tax.’ According to experts, the new tax, will affect millions of Italians and lovers of Italian food across the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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