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The Daily Bonnet

Your 2025 Mennonite Oscar Nominees

March 2, 2025 Andrew

It’s that time of year again once yet. The Oscars! Well, of course, as Mennonite we don’t watch movies, except we all know Onkel Oscar who owns a TV behind the barn out back and […]

Unger Suspicion

Timothéeee Chalamet Adds a Couple Extra E’s

November 16, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Dune star Timothéeee Chalamet has just broken the record for more successive E’s in a name after having his name legally changed from Timothée to Timothéeee earlier this week. “I looked at my name up there […]

Unger Suspicion

Critics Call New ‘Dueck’ Movie Just a Rip-off of ‘Star Wars’

November 11, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Although many have praised the performance of young star Timothéeeeeeeee Schellenmet, critics have found many parallels between the new Dueck movie and its clear influence Star Wars. “It’s like Star Wars except they’re […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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