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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tinkers with Grandma Penner’s Recipes

October 6, 2018 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB For the past three years, local bachelor Darryl Penner, 41, has been attempting to improve his grandmother’s beloved Mennonite recipes and, just this past weekend, he finally decided to reveal his improved versions […]

Unger Conviction

Bible School Offering Money Back Guarantee if Not Engaged By the End of First Semester

September 4, 2018 Andrew

FOUR MOUNTAINS, AB In an effort to boost enrolment, starting this fall, the Bible School of Southern Alberta is offering students a 100% money-back guarantee if they’re not engaged by the end of the first […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Publisher Releases Extra-Wide Bibles to Keep the Boys and Girls Farther Apart

August 16, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Mennonite Bible Society of Indiana is excited to announce brand new extra-thick Bibles intended to provide extra distance between the boys and girls at summer camp, Sunday School, and other church functions. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Preacher Encourages Young People to ‘Hover Hand’

August 15, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Reverend Toews of Vankla is praising his young people for maintaining the Mennonite tradition of not making any physical contact with the opposite sex. Recently, the phenomenon of the ‘hover hand’ was brought […]

Unger Conviction

Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church

July 3, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local bachelor Timothy Wiebe, 23, of Altona is sticking to his guns and showing up to church every Sunday hoping and praying that a young woman his age will miraculously appear. Wiebe has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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