The Daily Bonnet
How to Tell if Your Christmas Tree is Illegal
Oba, so these days even in Schteinback you have to know where your tree is coming from once yet such. You just can’t trust anyone who says, “Oba, yo, I’ve got a tree for you […]
crime
Unger & Thirst
Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting
ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]
The Daily Bonnet
Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics
STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]
Unger & Thirst
BC to Decriminalize Up to 2.5 Grams of Borscht
ABBOTSFORD, BC As of July 1 this year, the government of British Columbia will decriminalize possession of up to 2.5 grams of cabbage borscht, so long as it’s for personal use. “Borscht is a health issue,” said […]
Unger Games
Novak Djokovic Deported to Southern Manitoba
WINKLER, MB Controversial tennis star Novak Djokovic was given a one-way ticket out of Australia this week and has selected a dairy farm south of Winkler as “the only place I really feel at home.” […]