How to Tell if Your Christmas Tree is Illegal

Oba, so these days even in Schteinback you have to know where your tree is coming from once yet such. You just can’t trust anyone who says, “Oba, yo, I’ve got a tree for you in my pickup yet.” So how can you tell if you’ve got a good Christian Christmas tree or one of those weltlich ones from the city? Let’s have a look.

  • If it still has the Klassen’s Christmas decorations all over it … it might be illegal.
  • If the guy selling it to you also offers you weed … it might be illegal.
  • If it exactly matches the stumps in front of City Hall … it might be illegal.
  • If the seller insists you pay in cash and/or bitcoin … it might be illegal.
  • If it’s still housing a thriving family of squirrels … it might be illegal.
  • If it’s only $1.99 and the guy seems really eager to sell … it might be illegal.
  • If the guy selling it to you looks more like an accountant than anyone who might be capable of planting and nurturing a tree … it might be illegal.
  • If you have to sign a waiver to take it home … it might be illegal.
  • If the dude refuses to help you load it onto the truck for fear of leaving behind fingerprints … it might be illegal.
  • If you’re immediately asked to do an interview for the CBC … it might be illegal.
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