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cousins

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Denies Rumour that She and Corny are “More than Just Cousins”

January 20, 2020 Andrew

OSTERWICK, MB After Mary Toews and her cousin Corny were seen spending an awful lot of time together at the church faspa on Sunday, rumours are starting to spread that they are “more than just […]

Unger & Thirst

Cousin Ernie Snags the ‘Obraumtje’ Yet Again

August 17, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Cousin Ernie just always gets in there like a dirty shirt and snatches the obraumtje before anyone else even has a chance at it. “I think this is why he never plays kjnipsbrat,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Cousins Were On the Kiss Cam Last Night

February 5, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Friesen cousins from Taber decided to attend a Flames game this week, but they didn’t expect to be thrust into the spotlight the way they were. “We were just sitting there enjoying […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Confuses Genealogy Website for Dating App

October 8, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Aghast at the prices of more famous ancestry websites, local woman Amy Penner decided to subscribe to Grandma’s Window, a much more affordable website dedicated exclusively to Russian Mennonite genealogy. The problem […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Man Takes His Mexican Cousin to ‘Authentic Hole-in-the-Wall’

June 8, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Unlike their counterparts in the United States and Canada, the Mennonites of Mexico don’t get what the big deal is about fast food Americanized tacos. Waldemar Krahn, for example, came up to Manitoba to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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