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corny rempel

The Daily Bonnet

Andrew Unger to Perform at Grey Cup Half Time Show

November 4, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK With just days left until the Grey Cup, organizers still had yet to announce the half time show. Well, the wait is over as, apparently, Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger will be reading […]

The Daily Bonnet

Baz Luhrmann Directs New Corny Rempel Biopic

September 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Renowned Hollywood director Baz Luhrmann has just released a brand new $300 million biopic of southern Manitoba’s greatest Elvis tribute artist and radio personality Corny Rempel. “It tells his story from his modest […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Plans to Totally Fe’schlucke Herself Friday Night

April 28, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Alice Braun has been anticipating the ‘Mennonites Laughing’ event at McNally Robinson on Friday night and is already fe’schlucking herself in preparation. “Andrew Unger? Armin Wiebe? Even Corny Rempel yet?” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station

February 18, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It seems that Southeast Manitoba’s most persistent conspiracy theory will never fade away, as yet another wave of Corny Rempel sightings has captured the attention of Hanover residents. “I’m always keeping my eyes […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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