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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Excommunicated After Washing Grandma’s Cast-Iron Skillet

September 8, 2020 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB Local man Albert Janz, 31, has been stripped off his church membership this week after committed the most heinous sin possible – washing a Mennonite Grandma’s cast-iron skillet. “I was just helping […]

Unger & Thirst

Hash Brownie Recipe Discovered in Antique Mennonite Cookbook

July 6, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mennonite Recipes of Lancaster County is thought to be the oldest Swiss Mennonite cookbook in the world. Little was known about the content of the very first edition until now. Recently a rare […]

Unger & Thirst

Mrs. Janzen’s Day Old Buns a Big Hit with Frugal Mennonites

June 7, 2020 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Mennonites across the region have been clamouring to get their hands on Mrs. Janzen’s day old buns, which she offers for a significantly discounted price. “Every loves Mrs. Janzen’s buns,” said Mr. Fehr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Resourceful Mennonite Woman Makes Do With Hamburger Patties and Hot Dog Buns

May 25, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB It was a peculiar combination, but Mrs. Doerksen managed to hold a Doerksen family BBQ this weekend even though she’d completely run out of hamburger buns. “Mench ekj saj, the hamburgers come in […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers Brave New World of Fried Vereniki

April 1, 2020 Andrew

“O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people in’t!” -William Shakespeare, The Tempest ALTONA, MB A church lunch this past Sunday has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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