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cooking

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confesses that Ruehrei is the Only Thing He Can Cook

January 27, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Unger, 51, of Blumenhof has been making a delicious serving of ruehrei once a week for the past thirty-two years and his wife Wilma has had enough of it already. “Diewel, that man! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts

January 21, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Mrs. Eby is facing intense scrutiny this week after it was revealed she hasn’t made her own crust since 1987. “Ach, why bother making a crust from scratch when you can buy a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Invites Over Four People but Cooks for Twenty

October 10, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Schellenberg of Winkler decided to invite the Barkmans and Goosens for dinner tonight and since there was going to be a total of six people, she decided to cook a meal for […]

Unger & Thirst

Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki

September 6, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Art Berg, 31, of Leamington, Ontario has a message for the world: “My mom’s vereniki are the best in the world yet!” The message, which he’s plastered on several billboards in the Leamington […]

Unger & Thirst

Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World

August 30, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A report out of the University of Kitchener this week confirms what everyone knew all along that their own grandma is the “very best cook in the entire world.” “We tested the cooking […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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