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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher

August 25, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Abe Epp, Rosthern’s most respected schekjbenjel, spend more than 8 hours at the Home Depot there in Saskatoon trying to find the wood stretcher. “Diewel, I tried the lumber department and nothing. Then […]

Unger Games

Meet the Plett Brothers: The Last Remaining Fans Still Watching the NHL this Season

May 22, 2023 Andrew

TABER, AB After searching long and hard all across the country, researchers have found two Mennonite dudes who apparently didn’t know hockey was over for the season. The two remaining hockey fans are Jeremy Plett, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears Steel Toe Boots to Church

December 19, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB In an abundance of caution, Mr. Plett has taken to wearing his steel toe boots everywhere he goes, including church. “I’m a Mennonite, so of course I don’t care about safety recommendations,” said […]

Unger Games

Every Single Road Named “Worst Road in Manitoba”

May 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual list of “worst roads in the province” was released this month, and for the first time ever the list included every single road in the entire province. “Land of 100,000 lakes? […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Hires Mennonite Quilting Ladies to Patch Provincial Highways

May 14, 2022 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB The Killarney women’s quilting club will be extra busy this spring after receiving a generous provincial grant to patch highways throughout the region. “We’re starting with that really rough 14 kilometre stretch near […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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