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Unger & Thirst

Local Pastor Reassures Paranoid Congregation: “Don’t Worry, Chem Trails are Just Schmaunt Fat”

January 19, 2021 Andrew

R.M. of RHINELAND, MB After months of growing paranoia, a local pastor has decided to address a matter that was plaguing the minds of some of his more circumspect congregants. “Chem trails are nothing to […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Tin Foil Hats Over Masks’ Group to Stage Massive Protest

January 17, 2021 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It’s a movement that has swept the nation in recent months and this weekend the infamous Tin Foil Hats Over Masks group is planning to stage protests in cities across the country. “First […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Reeve to be Vaccinated Against Wacko Conspiracy Theories

December 11, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB An area reeve will be first in line to receive the new vaccine that protects individuals from wacko conspiracy theories and believing whatever they read on the Internet. “The vaccine takes two doses […]

Unger Suspicion

Communist Takeover Complete After Local Man is Politely Asked to Put on a Mask

November 20, 2020 Andrew

SCHLAMMFELD, MB Local communists have declared complete and total victory over the resistant kulaks this week after successfully convincing some guy named Darryl from Schlammfeld to put on a mask. “At last, with this final […]

Unger Suspicion

New ‘Plandemic’ Doc is the Comedy Smash Hit of the Season

May 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It’s the number one comedy blockbuster of the spring: Plandemic! Starring the hilarious new comedy talent Judy Mikovits, who rivals Tina Fey and Melissa McCarthy in her rolling-on-the-floor laugh-out-loud hilarity. “I haven’t laughed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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