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The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

Unger & Thirst

“Chip Shortage” Sends Mennonites into a Panic

May 23, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a “chip shortage” sent Mennonites into a panic this week as thousands of Klassen and Duecks grabbed whatever chaps they could find on the shelves. “The La Cocina were the first […]

The Daily Bonnet

Miracle-Working Techno-Whizz Grandson Turns Computer Off and then On Again

January 21, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Nineteen-year-old Timothy Brandt had all the Mennonites at the Abbotsford Manor in awe last night after he turned off the computer and turned it back on again. “Oba yo! He really knows about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Population Completely Unaffected by Global Cyberattack

May 15, 2017 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN While millions of internet-users around the world were afflicted by the largest cyberattack in history this weekend, anthropologists have discovered a small group of people, affectionately known as “Mennonites,” who, for some reason, […]

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