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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Go Around Naked Now that Reitman’s is Closed

January 16, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Agatha Martens, 73, is concerned she’ll be left with absolutely nothing to wear now that Reitman’s is closing. Martens relied so heavily on purchasing her floral blouses and navy blue slacks […]

Unger Suspicion

Avid Outdoorsman Spends All Day Indoors Wearing Bass Pro Shops Cap

August 17, 2023 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man Heinrich Wiens, 23, has a reputation around Seminole for being such an avid outdoorsman that he even wears a Bass Pro Shops cap. “And you can’t fake that,” said fellow hunting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Sports Hip Cottagecore Outfit

March 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Janzen of Leamington was in the big city this week to covertly watch Women Talking, where her super fashionable attire drew more attention than she had anticipated. “Apparently I’m ‘cottagecore,’” said Janzen, sporting a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Can’t Remember Where He Parked His Winter Coat

January 15, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area man Art Loeppky, 75, spent more than 45 minutes in the GMC lobby this morning trying to find his parka in amongst hundreds of other black winter coats. “Jauma! Now where did […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Looks Exactly the Same in AI-Generated Historical Photos

December 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Irene Klassen of Steinbach was very excited about the new AI historic photo app her granddaughter Megan told her about. That is, until the results came in and all the photos looked […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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