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Unger Conviction

Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’

May 7, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Newton New Mennonite Church has just launched an innovative new program meant to encourage church-goers to get to know each other better. In the program, members sign up to host perfect strangers […]

Unger & Thirst

“I Could Make it Myself Better and Cheaper”: Mennonite Woman Refuses to Buy Anything at Church Bake Sale

January 18, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB While examining the offerings at the Grunthal Church fundraising bake sale this week, Mrs. Kehler refused to buy a single item, claiming that everything she saw she “could easily make at home much […]

Unger & Thirst

Coming this October to a Mennonite Church Near You: Pumpkin Spice Baptisms!

October 4, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Desperate to capture the lucrative 25-40 market, the First Mennonite Brethren Church of Fresno has decided that all baptisms during the month of October will be conducted with Mrs. Jansen’s famous pumpkin spice […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Things Mennonites Are Allowed to Waste Money On

June 30, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to spending, Mennonites are a frugal bunch. Despite the fact many Mennonites have done well for themselves economically, they’re not the type to flaunt their wealth. You won’t see a Mennonite driving […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Awarded Their Very Own Chicken Chef Franchise

June 16, 2018 Andrew

KLEINSCHANTZ, MB The MB church in the tiny Mennonite village of Kleinschantz has been awarded their very own Chicken Chef franchise, which will begin operation in the church basement this fall. “Oba, our vary own […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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