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Unger & Thirst

Skeptical Burger King Customer Seeks to Prove the Existence of ‘Ketchup Nuggets’

August 6, 2023 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON As significant doubts about the existence of ketchup nuggets spread like wildfire this week, Burger King Canada has decided to post photographic evidence that their new ‘ketchup nuggets’ are actually a real […]

Unger & Thirst

Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store

July 19, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Andrew Siemens has become the first Canadian Mennonite ever to follow his Mexican cousin to the import store and try the hot sauce. “Dietschlaunt, that’s hot!” exclaimed Andrew, encountering the mildest […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor

July 17, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

June 16, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman’s Passport Expires Before It Even Arrives

November 24, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area woman Mavis Eby, 61, just received her passport in the mail this morning only to find that it was already expired. “You know, this is really frustrating,” said Eby. “I thought when […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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