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canada

Unger the Influence

Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor

July 17, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Residents of Sumas, Washington were completely baffled by the huge display of fireworks over the border in Abbotsford, BC this evening. “What are they doing? Practicing?” pondered Mrs. Schmidt of Sumas. “They had […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

June 16, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman’s Passport Expires Before It Even Arrives

November 24, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area woman Mavis Eby, 61, just received her passport in the mail this morning only to find that it was already expired. “You know, this is really frustrating,” said Eby. “I thought when […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”

October 9, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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