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burton cummings

Unger Conviction

Presence of Rock Band in Elkhart Sparks Fiery Theological Debate

November 2, 2023 Andrew

ELKHART, IN When word got out that legendary Canadian rock band The Guess Who was playing the small Mennonite town of Elkhart, Indiana this weekend, students at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary gathered to debate the […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Demand to Have King ‘Burton Cummings’ Added to New Banknotes

September 21, 2022 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK In a coronation ceremony held in Moose Jaw this afternoon, legendary moustachioed musician Burton Cummings ascended to the Canadian throne. The move means the new $50 bill will now feature a late […]

Unger Suspicion

Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast

November 18, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Manitobans were lined up outside the Legislative Building in Winnipeg this afternoon for their chance to get up close and personal with Brian Pallister’s broken left arm. Manitobans of all walks […]

Unger Suspicion

Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity

October 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Legendary Canadian rocker Burton Cummings is set to become a little bit lighter this weekend after agreeing to shave his signature moustache and auction it off for charity. “We’re thinking his moustache could […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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